The 20 phrases narcissists use to control and manipulate you

One narcissistic is an individual who exhibits an excessive sense of self-importance, coupled with a constant need for attention and admiration. These individuals often have difficulty handling criticism and may deliberately manipulate others to achieve their own goals. It should be noted that it is crucial to be aware of these characteristics, as a narcissist tends to use manipulation techniques to control those around them.

In this way, narcissists have an impressive ability to manipulate their partners. This process takes place in stages, with phrases carefully constructed to engage, confuse, and ultimately control the person.

First stage: love bombing

The first stage is "love bombing", where the narcissist will overwhelm you with affectionate statements and over the top attentions. Pay attention to phrases that are used to create an image of mutual emotional dependence.

• “I don't know what I would do if I lost you”;
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• "You're everything to me";
• “I have never felt this way about anyone before”;
• “You are beautiful, kind, funny, smart… you are perfect”
• “We are perfect for each other”

Second stage: manipulation

However, as the relationship progresses, the manipulation changes its tone. The victimism, the distorted words and the gaslighting – the art of making the other person doubt their own perception and sanity – take hold. At this point, it's common for the narcissist to try to make you feel guilty and believe that you are causing damage to the relationship.

Other phrases appear in the mouth of the narcissist, an example being the following:

• “Are you trying to destroy us? This is what you want?";
• “I can't have a decent conversation when you act like this”;
• “That's not what happened, you are distorting things”;
• You have some serious issues you need to deal with”;
• "No one else thinks that except you."

In this second stage, it is essential to identify the signs of manipulation. If you hear these types of words it is possible that you are being manipulated. It is an indication that the narcissist is trying to distort reality for their own convenience.

Third stage: aggressiveness

The third and final stage of the narcissistic cycle is more venomous and dangerous. That initial loving behavior turns into threats, insults and verbal cruelty. The narcissist's language becomes aggressive, with phrases like:

• “I am the only person who will like you”;
• “Good luck finding someone like me”;
• “Don't try my patience, you won't like what happens”;
• “You are ridiculous”;
• “Believe me, no one else will want to date you”;
• “After all I've done for you, this is how you show your gratitude”;
• “I don't know how I can stand you”;
• "You disgust me";
• “What you are wearing makes you look like a bum”;
• "It's not my fault, you asked for it."

Such statements are intended to lower the victim's self-esteem and reinforce the idea that she cannot live without the narcissist. Thus, it is essential to identify these behaviors and phrases. Be aware that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

Manipulation and abuse, whether verbal or emotional, are never acceptable in a healthy relationship. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to protecting yourself and taking action to end this toxic dynamic.