3 Signs You're Being a Victim of "Toxic Gratitude"

Adopting a positive outlook on life can bring many benefits, but it is essential to beware of the “toxic gratitude” trap.

This concept, as described by Elizabeth Pearson, a career coach and author, involves deceiving yourself and invalidating your own emotions and desires.

Pearson explains that toxic gratitude manifests itself when you think, "I'm not as happy as I could be" about a relationship. your work, relationship, or living situation, but an inner voice tells you to be grateful and ignore any worries. For her, toxic gratitude can keep a person trapped in unfavorable living conditions.

3 signs of toxic gratitude

Recognizing the signs of toxic gratitude is the first step to breaking free from this evil. According to Pearson, here are three indicators to look out for:

• Disregard wishes: you ignore the signs that something is not working for you and reject your own desires;
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• invalidate feelings: your expressions of gratitude serve to invalidate your true emotions;
• Fear based stagnation: you use gratitude as an excuse to stay in a situation that doesn't fit you, motivated by fearnot to find something better.

Examples of toxic gratitude

Toxic gratitude can affect both your professional and personal life. In work-related scenarios, it can manifest as:

• “I must be grateful that I have a job, as many people are unemployed.”
• “I must be satisfied with the salary I have, even if I deserve more.”
• “Working from home is a privilege; I should not ask for additional support.”

Us relationshipsRomantics, toxic gratitude can manifest as:

• “Nobody is perfect, so I must stay in this relationship.”
• “My partner forgot my birthday, but it's better than being alone.”
• “Even if I am not happy in this relationship, I will not find anyone better”

How to overcome this evil?

To overcome toxic gratitude, Pearson suggests imagining your younger self and reflecting on how you would feel about your current situation. If he is disappointed or sad, it is a clear sign that changes are needed.

The antidote to this situation lies in cultivating a deep trust in your instincts and emotions. So re-evaluate whether toxic gratitude has built up invisible barriers in your life.

If so, consider taking them apart and adopting a mindset that prioritizes your well-being and fulfillment. And remember: putting yourself first is a sign of self love and not selfishness.