The need to please people can be a childhood trauma

The desire to be accepted comes naturally to many people to some extent. However, this need to to please people is something you learn early on, it often occurs when unrealistic expectations and the need for “perfection” trump any authenticity or emotional connection.

Read more: Studies link childhood trauma to eating disorders

These are traumas that can start in childhood.

As children, we look to our parents and guardians for validation of our sense of direction and self-advocacy. This is how children learn to navigate the world and ultimately build a solid self-identity.

However, when a child's reality is denied or ignored, it can lead the child to feel insecure about who she is, unable to stand up for herself, and completely dependent on others for a sense of belonging. identity.

Childhood disability or abusive circumstances can be internalized as negative self-confidence that ultimately limits our ability to trust ourselves. As a result, we develop a mindset that in order to be “perfect” we need to seek approval from others.

The need for too much approval is harmful

This behavior is very negative in the long run because it takes people away from the real life experience. As a result, there will be a feeling of being lost, of emptiness and wasted time, precisely because almost none of your time has been used for things that are important to you.

That is, you always prioritize the other person over your own personality. Therefore, some signs that may indicate that your need for recognition is excessive are:

• Prioritizing the needs of others and not being able to say no (even if you know you can't do it or don't like having to do it);
• Always being scared and afraid of what people will say or think about your appearance;
• Changing your mind because you see that you don't fit in with what most people think too;
• Avoid giving your opinion for fear of not pleasing the other.