Forgiving others takes time and effort to see the situation in a different light. However, third party forgiveness for a person who hurt you, and even who you have already forgiven, can be more difficult due to a number of factors. Follow this article in its entirety and find out what why forgiving someone who hurt a friend is more complicated.
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It is not uncommon to vent to friends about certain situations in dating, marriage or even friendships and work. However, even if you are later able to forgive those who hurt you, it doesn't mean that your friend, with whom you vented your feelings, can do the same so quickly.
The phenomenon described earlier is known as the third-party forgiveness effect. And, according to psychologist Jeffrey Green, the act of holding a grudge against people who have wronged you, but who you have already forgiven, comes from different attributions.
It is important to note that in psychology the term attribution has to do with the way in which people explain each other's behavior. Thus, the attributions can be external or internal, that is, to explain a negative behavior, such as betrayal, the causes are diverse.
Alcohol, drugs and stress are synonymous with external attributions, while statements that attribute negative characteristics to another person's character or personality are internal attributions. For psychologists, external attributions, or situations, are usually more often forgiven by third parties.
Are your friends and family intolerant of other people's mistakes?
Psychologist Jeffrey Green states that we tend to be less forgiving of the mistakes of others, but the same does not occur when the mistake is made by someone close to us, such as a boyfriend or family member.
Even if the mistake is essentially the same, it is easier to forgive someone close compared to forgiving someone who has hurt our friends or family. In these cases, normally the attributions for those who hurt our friends are internal, related to the personality and, therefore, more difficult to be forgiven.
