The theory of five love languages, written by marriage counselor Gary Chapman, was born out of the observation that many couples struggled.
These challenges in relationships would be caused by differences in the ways of expressing and receiving love.
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Originally published in 1992, the book “As 5Love Languages“, by Chapman, has sold more than 12 million copies and has become a valuable guide for couples seeking to understand and improve their emotional connection.
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A psychologist Camila Puertas explains that, in most cases, it is unlikely that the love languages are identical between partners. This often results in misunderstandings and communication difficulties.
“However, when one partner learns to speak the other's love language, that gesture can engender feelings of love, appreciation, and happiness in the relationship,” she says.
It is important to highlight that, according to psychologist Ana Faustino, each individual has a primary language, but this does not exclude the possibility of benefiting from others at different times in life.
That is, it is possible to have more than one way of expressing love for your partner. She highlights the importance of understanding one's changing needs.
But, after all, what are these love languages and their main characteristics? See below!
act of service
For those who express love through actions such as helping, caring and offering assistance. Practical gestures, such as taking care of the house, taking care of the children or offering a ride, are ways of showing affection.
gifts
This language involves giving and receiving gifts, not for monetary value, but for the thoughtfulness and intention behind the gesture.
quality time
People with this language feel loved when they receive undivided and genuine attention from their partners. Being present in the moment is essential.
physical touch
Touch is the primordial form of love for these people, not only during intimate moments, but also through caresses, hugs and affectionate gestures in everyday life.
words of affirmation
The language of words, expressing praise, support, and verbal love, is crucial for individuals who possess this language.
Identifying your love language can be transformative for your relationship. In addition to the tips provided by Chapman, answering a few questions may help:
What makes you feel most loved by your partner?
What do you want above all else?
What hurts you deeply about your partner's actions or words?
What do you often ask your partner for?
These answers will likely point to your primary love language. However, being open to experimenting and catering to others is essential for a healthy and balanced relationship.