Relationships always go through ups and downs – especially the longer ones. In some moments, we can believe that love is over or that that flame of passion does not come back. However, we are wrong.
Love - the one that is real, made to last - is a very strong feeling. What happens is that relationships can suffer external influence. As a result, they are shaken from time to time.
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With that in mind, here are 6 ways for you to cultivate a deeper love for your spouse and, with that, rekindle the fire of passion. You will see your partner with different eyes at the end of this article.
Everyone has that friend who says: “my husband bought me a new car” or “my wife gave me the latest iPhone as a gift”. While yours didn't even buy you. It happens.
However, it's unhealthy to compare someone else's spouse to yours. This is just a way to sabotage your
relationship. Remember that everyone's conditions are very different – and that your consecrated person can do things for you that others cannot.Do a reflection exercise: are you the same person as when you and your spouse met? Probably not, especially if your relationship is long term. People change and mature all the time.
So, why demand from the other something that, in addition to being natural, you yourself do not fulfill? Also, it's perfectly common for people to subconsciously act "better" in the beginning because they're so in love and want to make it work. Remember that love makes everyone happier and lighter.
Especially if it's not something you usually do. Don't take it as an offense! It happens a lot when you spend a lot of time with a person and create a certain intimacy.
Not just niceties like opening the car door or doing the dishes, but things you believe will brighten the person's day who you have a relationship with: how to buy a chocolate as a gift, take them out to eat something delicious or even make a playlist Special. You both will feel happier, believe me!
If you already have kids, it's crucial to spend time alone without the kids. In addition to getting out of the routine, you can rest your head a little from the challenges of raising a small human being.
Repeat after me: “if a problem is not communicated, it does not exist”. As much as your spouse – or even you! – hate to discuss the relationship, it is very important to talk about what bothers you in the relationship. Thus, you give the person the opportunity to reflect on what you said and change.
You can't keep something to yourself and expect the person to do something respectful. Remember that no one is X-Men to read thoughts.
Taking the opportunity, also say what you want and what you would like your spouse to do. For example, if you say you feel bad because the other person doesn't wash the dishes, take the opportunity and say that you would like him to do it a few times a week – or even propose a schedule.
Communication is key!
Graduated in Social Communication at the Federal University of Goiás. Passionate about digital media, pop culture, technology, politics and psychoanalysis.
