For a relationship to survive in a healthy way, non-violent communication must be a constant practice. In this sense, there must be a certain intimacy, experience and, above all, a lot of respect between both parties. However, even in civilized conversations, a few phrases said without thinking can cause an big wear on the relationship.
If you want to prevent this from happening, find out below some toxic phrases that should be avoided at all costs.
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A maxim of healthy relationships is: ' ' if you have something to say, always look for the kindest way ' '. It's important to keep this in mind because novels, especially the longer ones, need care to stay alive and lit over time. If this is your goal, see which phrases to avoid:
“Give me an example of when I did this’’.
When you say this, you are demonstrating to your partner that you are not striving for self-assessment, but are adopting an instant defensive position. Replace that sentence with: '' I'll think about it, thanks for alerting me. Can you tell if I do this too often?
“Again this subject?”
Asking your partner this is practically a statement of "I don't pay attention to what you're asking of me". After all, if this matter had been overcome, there would be no need to debate it.
“I'm sorry you feel that way”
This phrase should be reserved for times when there is no need to apologize. However, if you are wrong, it seems ironic and unfair. It's like you're sad that the person is sad, not that you made them sad. The difference is subtle, but it is important. Instead, prefer: ''I'm sorry for making you sad/disappointed''.
“Are you upset about this?”
Delegitimizing the partner's feelings is the initial key to failure. People feel differently, triggers are triggered for different reasons, and being a good partner means supporting the person, even if you don't quite understand why they feel that way. manner.
