There are four simple steps to changing unhelpful thought patterns, which involve paying attention to our inner speech, identifying thoughts distorted feelings, act more compassionately towards ourselves, and replace negative thoughts with more realistic and balanced. This process reorients our brains to look for evidence that disproves repetitive thinking patterns, helping us to achieve our goals.
Step 1: Record examples of negative self-talk or troublesome thoughts that come up over the next few days. Write down the specific phrases that occupy your internal monologue in the first column of a new worksheet.
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Step 2: Identify the type of cognitive distortion associated with each negative thought in the second column.
Step 3: Rebut the misstatement by generating 1-3 examples of situations or experiences that prove the misstatement is incorrect. Write down any facts or truths that logically demonstrate why the thought is a myth. Identify external factors that may have contributed to the situation, including other people.
Step 4: Act like a “Wiser You” by pretending to be a close friend in the same situation. What advice would you give? What would you say to encourage or comfort your friend?
For example, if someone named John was doing this exercise, the columns could look like this:
“I am a failure because I couldn't finish my work on time.”
“Although I didn't meet the deadline, there are many things I did well on this project. I was able to find solutions to some of the toughest problems and learned some new skills that I will be able to use in the future.”
Empathize with yourself and use the same words of encouragement you would use to help a friend cope.