Life as a couple indeed brings with it many challenges, which can make us think that having a successful relationship is impossible. However, this is not what researchers John and Julie Gottman came to the conclusion after years of research. In case, they discovered that there is a secret of successful couples and that is much simpler than it seems. Check out the article and find out what it is!
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A common mistake is to think that successful couples are those who never fight or don't experience great challenges.
However, a successful relationship is not this one, but one that has learned to deal with all the moments of restlessness that may appear over time. At least that's what the couple of love researchers John and Julie Gottman defend.
In this case, this couple started doing research many decades ago, so that in the 1980s The Gottman Institute was created. It is a research center at the University of Washington to investigate issues of love and life together.
It was at this center that, for 20 years, the Gottman couple interviewed around 3,000 couples to understand the secret of success in relationships.
Finally, John and Julie told a little of what they understand by a successful couple after all these years of research in an interview with couples therapist Esther Perel's channel.
For them, the secret seems to be in how successful couples manage to make “repairs” in their relationships and how this positively impacts their routine.
John and Julie present the concept of repairs as a time when the couple tries to “fix” the relationship after a fight or a simple disagreement.
For them, this demonstrates that, despite the challenges, both parties have the willingness to move forward and resolve whatever is necessary.
However, the researchers explain that these fixes are not just big demonstrations or statements. They even mention that some couples, after the fight, usually find ways to repair the relationship.
For example, a simple question like “Would you like some coffee?” after a fight helps to mend the relationship. In summary, care after disagreements dictates the success of the relationship.
