In fact, this context brings more family problems and conflicts than any other that can be pronounced in the context of the family. Saying "I don't like your boyfriend" in the "not what I expected" sense is not the same as saying "You're better than him".
Love already begins in adolescence, and therefore young people can already form couples, so this boyfriend for your daughter is a very important issue. If you look back, you might even recognize yourself.
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From now on, I don't think it would cost us anything to agree that your daughter's happiness, integrity, and health are priceless. Although what makes her happy right now is her boyfriend. Even if your daughter is a teenager, you can't choose her relationships.
If you see that the relationship is healthy, you should still relax and enjoy her happiness, not overdoing it, but without getting involved and, above all, letting her make mistakes.
She ended up idealizing who doesn't suit her. Don't be surprised if he doesn't see any of the hundreds of defects you see. You don't have to be the one showing him the way to see these negatives because they will come together and you'll have both against you.
Get to know him before making assessments. Give him the opportunity to show you that he's the boy you wanted for your daughter. Show an interest in what he studies or if he works and it just goes to show that communication flows in your family. Try, that your daughter's boyfriend has the same treatment, that both feel comfortable because they will want to spend a lot of time with you. Include your daughter's boyfriend in the circle of trust of your children and friends so that you will spend a lot of time together and be able to relax.
Don't go against her, always talking bad about her boyfriend. She chose it and barring it being a toxic relationship she must make her own mistakes. If you continue with behavior against her, she will walk away because she will think that you are preventing her happiness and she will not understand.
That your daughter feels safe and calm, not bombarded with questions. Never turn your house into a war camp because then your daughter will end up running away to her boyfriend's house.
If a loud argument breaks out, change the subject until you calm down. Keep in mind that at the time of the change, messages can be given that generate frustration and greater discomfort. Therefore, silence is a good ally.
Finally, maintain closeness with both, allow your daughter to have the experience to make choices at this point in her life. Trust the values and principles that you formed with your daughter over the years of her upbringing. Allow her to make the choices, as long as she is not at physical, emotional, or social risk.
Psychologist, postgraduate in Business Management Executive Coaching and Skills. Writer with international training for creative writing and storytelling. Researcher at Dakila Pesquisas, creation of Pedagogical Coaching methodology for parents and educators.
